"to do" list... before you die

1. Read a really good book
2. Write a book, even if it is a really bad book
3. Parachute
4. Say I love you, and mean it
5. Invent a song, record it, send it to your friends
6. Laugh until you pee
7. Take naked pictures of yourself
9. Act in a movie, even if it is as an extra, or if it is a friends made movie
10. Travel through your country
11. Kiss a stranger

Oh so tired

I used to think that having a good job, a good paycheck and getting new opportunities was the most important part in my life... but now, I am just so tired...
I need vacations, and I need a new lifestyle...
I gotta go, got work to do

what goes around comes back around
I thought you would know that
that´s what life is all about

and now you are crying
and now you are whining
and now you want me back

you can´t just see me cry
turn your back around
walk away
and later come back

just cause you`re lonely
and just cause you`re sad
doesn´t make me feel sorry
I don´t want you now

love me then leave me
break me and need me
do what you please with me
just always come back to me...
always come back
always come back to me

for a moment there, I happened to think you liked me...
perhaps it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the pot, but I woke up the next morning (after an amazing sleep and hug situation) and felt a tiny warm spot in my body...
just to have it turned into some dissapointment...
but I should also say thank you, for not letting me continue my charade, for asking me if I was sure of what I was about to do and letting me answer with an honest no, I am not sure... (followed by me asking you the same question, and getting the exact same answer)...

the thing is, if I had said yes, nothing would have been different, because just like the first time, I would have asked you too... and your answer wasn´t going to change at all... oh wait, I might be lying... the difference would have been my embarrasement, you see, if the first situation was pathetic, the second one would have been even more, turning a simple yes into an obvious "I like you" and making it impossible for me to talk to you freely again...

so I guess thank you is in the right spot, because now I can pretend it was "a moment thing" and that was it, and then, when you tell me that you want me to introduce you to some friend of mine... some hot friend... I can just laugh and be all like... oh sure, next Saturday a hot one is having a party... and understand that the reason you tell me that is to let me know it is not me who you want to be with...

I do like you, but I know the feeling will go away... and from now on I am just gonna go to my own bed and get some pillow spooning

wannabe hooker

what scares me of getting close. is what you will think of me. what if you say i am a whore. what if i am not enough.
what if you kiss and tell. what if. what if you are not enough.
because i get all these ideas of love that always.always.turn out to be wrong.
i keep believing there is love for me. but deep down i know there´s none. so i go through life pretending to be a slut.
i guess i am not. i am just a wannabe. wannabe hooker.
i kept lying to myself. telling mysef. it is just a body. you use it and you dispose it.
but i guess it is not just a body. it has something called soul.
i guess i have a soul too.
i guess someone one day will see it.
and like me for me.
so i will stop pretending one of this days.
i will stop this charade.

no more kissing around.
because you will fix me.
some
other
time

in my head this is a song...

love me. use me. take me. want me.
do what you
please with me.

break me. try me. test me. leave me.
just always come back
to me.

over and. over. come crash into me.
kiss me. then fill me up. load me. you see

I´m ready. come get me. pretend that it´s real.


love me. use me. take me. want me.
try me. test me. touch me. kiss me.
refresh my good
memories